Codependency – Understanding the Phenomenon and Its Consequences
- Trainer Misfit
- Mar 26
- 3 min read
Codependency is a term used in psychology to describe the emotional, behavioral, and relational state of a person who is in a close relationship with someone addicted to psychoactive substances, gambling, or other destructive habits. A codependent individual often focuses on the needs and problems of the addicted person at the expense of their own mental and physical well-being. A key aspect of codependency is excessive emotional involvement and the need to control the situation and behaviors of the addicted person.
Causes of Codependency Development
The development of codependency can result from various factors, including childhood experiences such as growing up in a dysfunctional or addiction-affected family. A lack of emotional stability during childhood, parental overprotection, and low self-esteem can lay the foundation for developing codependent behaviors in adulthood. Additional contributing factors include difficulty setting boundaries, fear of abandonment, and a need for acceptance at any cost.
How Does Codependency Develop?
The process of codependency development is gradual and often difficult to detect in its early stages. Initially, the codependent person engages in helping the addicted individual, believing they can influence their behavior and contribute to change. Over time, however, the relationship becomes imbalanced, with the addicted person's needs dominating while the codependent person's needs are neglected.
Codependency can develop in four stages:
Denial – The codependent person ignores or minimizes the addiction problem.
Attempts to Control – Actions are taken to control the addicted person, such as manipulation, threats, or overprotectiveness.
Loss of Self – At this stage, the codependent individual completely sacrifices themselves for the benefit of their partner or loved one, neglecting their own needs and goals.
Emotional Exhaustion – Symptoms such as depression, anxiety, feelings of helplessness, and physical signs of exhaustion appear.
Consequences of Codependency
Codependency can lead to serious emotional, psychological, and physical consequences. Codependent individuals often suffer from low self-esteem, chronic stress, depression, and anxiety disorders. They may also experience health problems resulting from prolonged tension, such as cardiovascular issues or sleep disturbances.
Interpersonal relationships of a codependent person are often dominated by conflicts, manipulation, and a lack of healthy communication. Such individuals may also feel isolated because their focus on the addicted person's problems limits their ability to build and maintain other relationships.
How to Break the Cycle of Codependency?
Breaking the cycle of codependency requires, first and foremost, an awareness of the problem and a decision to change. Learning to set boundaries and developing emotional self-regulation skills are crucial. Individual or group therapy, particularly within support groups for codependent individuals, such as Al-Anon, can be pivotal in the healing process.
Another important step is developing self-awareness and working on self-esteem. It is vital for codependent individuals to recognize their own needs and strive to meet them, without basing their lives solely on their relationship with the addicted person.
Conclusion
Codependency is a serious issue that can lead to emotional and physical exhaustion for those affected. Key to understanding and overcoming this phenomenon is recognizing its existence and taking steps to rebuild healthy boundaries in relationships. Support from professionals, therapy, and support groups can be invaluable in the journey toward regaining balance and mental well-being.
Sources:
Melody Beattie – Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, A classic book explaining the mechanisms of codependency and providing practical guidance on addressing the issue.
Anne Wilson Schaef – When Society Becomes an Addict. This book addresses the social and psychological aspects of addiction and codependency.
Knudsen, H. K., & Shields, J. J. (2007). Codependency, Perceived Responsibility, and Treatment Outcomes for Substance Abuse Patients., Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment, 33(2), 139-147.